Jake’s Weblog

   I felt it my civic duty once again to follow up last week’s album review with a list of my top 10 favorite songs to trim Christmas trees to, for any tree farmers out there who like to spruce up their trimming day with a little music.

   I’ll begin with a little background for those of you who are unfamiliar with the art of Christmas tree trimming; to get the nice, shapely, beautiful tree you buy every year around the holiday season, somebody needs to trim it up (the best jobs are done by hand with a pair of shears - it gives the tree a more personal job, as opposed to the mass-produced sickle-bar trimmer jobs which save time.)  That’s where I come in.  I go out with a ladder and a pair of shears to trim up what has now probably reached nearly a thouand trees over the course of the years I’ve been doing this.  And then you, the consumer, come by with a bow saw and tears the life out of it for about three weeks’ time before throwing it out for the garbage.

   Anyway, it’s about as boring a job as you can imagine, and I like to keep occupied with some music.  To keep from going insane, you need a certain type of music to keep the mind sharp – so here’s a list of some of my favorite tree trimming tunes.

“Evil Woman” – Electric Light Orchestra.  This song wins because unlike the rest of the songs on this list, it actually makes me want to be out in the field with a pair of shears, trimming.  I love a song with a nice, “dancy” feel to it for trimming, and there’s something about the tune that just puts me in a trimming mood.  I’ll admit I’ve even broken out a few disco moves while working on the firs.  I actually trim to the beat. 

“No Way Back” – Foo Fighters.  Another good, upbeat song with a catchy tune.  This is one of my favorite Foo Fighters songs, though it’s either hit or miss if played at the beginning of the day.  Sometimes, it can be inspiring and give the drive needed to propel yourself through the rest of a boring day trimming trees, and sometimes, it just makes you depressed that you have eight more hours of this.

“Come As You Are” – Nirvana.  Well first off, this is about as “dancy” as Nirvana gets, and this is pretty much my favorite song of all time.  I love the deep, watery bass part.  The whole song is just really well done; if they had played this at my high school Homecoming or Prom, I would’ve danced to it.  It gets me into that tree-trimming “groove,” if you will, especially during the guitar solo.  Great for trees that need a little extra precision.

Do Ya – Electric Light Orchestra.  Like “Evil Woman,” “Do Ya” just has something in the beat that makes it a good work song.  I even think some credit card company used it in a commercial for small businesses.  “Do ya Do ya want my shears?”

“Beast and the Harlot” – Avenged Sevenfold.  This is a great song overall – kinda’ somewhere between Guns N Roses and metal.  It’s catchy, and great for any tight trimming jobs.  I get a lot done on this one.

“Bullet with Butterfly Wings” – Smashing Pumpkins.  The chorus is where you really get going on this song – when he starts screaming “Despite all my rage / I am still just a rat in a cage.”  The song isn’t particularly good for productivity, but it’s fun for trimming nonetheless.  For just a general trimming, a good tune.

“Vinum Sabbathi” – Electric Wizard.  This song is really heavy.  It has this slow, pondering beat and massive distortion that just throbs in your head if you crank it up.  That, combined with the low, barely audible growling of their vocals, and you have a song that’s perfect for medium-heavy trimming, or if you want to saw the whole tree down.

“Sex Type Thing” – Stone Temple Pilots. STP is amazing for starters, but this is one of their best, if not their best song.  I love the massive, hard hitting riffs – it just sounds like it’s spiraling downward as the song goes on.  The drum beat is simple but nicely done, too.  A good song to start the day moving fast.

“Blitzkrieg Bop” – The Ramones.  It’s quick, fast paced, and full of that punk-rock energy, and it’s just plain catchy.  A good tune for trimming stuff down about medium length, or if you want a close trim.

“Fall to Pieces” – Velvet Revolver.  This one surprises me as a good tree-trimming tune, but the guitar solo really is great – it sends shivers down my spine every time.  I like to crank the volume the whole way up – you really get a lot done in the chorus.  Plus Scott Weiland’s vocals are really great – I like the song a lot to begin with.  Best for a light to medium trimming.