Creedage Cheese
I felt it my civic duty to take a moment to discuss a truly talented band that just kills me every time I hear their songs, because they could truly be so much better. This band is the much-mocked Christian rock group Creed.
Let me first say that though I don’t like to affiliate myself with a particular religion, I respect the beliefs of other people as long as they leave me alone and don’t try to tell me what to believe. So before there’s a cry of “Oooohhh, stone the agnostic!” and Pat Robertson and the 700 Club come busting through my dorm wall in a Panzer, let me just say that
THIS IS A CRITIQUE OF CREED AND THE CHRISTIAN ROCK GENRE; NOT CHRISTIANITY AS A RELIGION.
My main point for writing in this week is to say how awesome I think Creed as a band is, except for the fact that they’re Christian rock. I mean, I really don’t care if a band wants to praise the Lord through head-banging and heavy metal, mostly because I never actually thought I’d find a good Christian rock band! But then I stumbled upon Creed, and my whole life changed. Musically speaking, they were exactly what I was looking for – the heavy, distorted alternative guitars, a powerful lead vocalist, and a balance between the negative and the uplifting. But then I started to actually pay attention to the lyrics, and I became sorely disappointed. Let’s be honest; they’re the Dragon Force of Alternative Rock. Great music, cheesy words. I could live with the Christian lyrics; I don’t care personally, but I consider myself an open-minded person in regards to such things. When you make them ridiculously cheesy Christian lyrics, though, it all goes down the drain. Let’s look at “One” for example. I love the music, but if Creed songs are cheesy, this is the Limburger. Take a look at these lyrics:
“The goal is to be unified – take my hand, be my brother.”
“Unity took a backseat sliding further into regression”
“I feel angry I feel helpless – want to change the world, yeah.”
Please, this is bordering on “Peanut Butter Jelly, Peanut Butter Jelly, Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat.” If there’s anything more drab and uncreative than Creed Lyrics, it’s anything in the rap/hip hop genre
Whatever happened to Kurt Cobain’s poetic vagueness? You don’t spell out the lyrics, silly! You have to make them think about it! Maybe we’re actually mishearing them; maybe the lyrics are genius, but we can’t make them out correctly because Scott Stapp refuses to open his mouth when he sings! I heard a comedian make a joke about the song “With Arms Wide Open” and he parodied it as “My Mouth Won’t Open” – I nearly lost it. What’s perhaps most interesting to me is that Creed persistently claimed throughout their career that they were NOT a Christian rock band. Let’s look at the evidence, shall we:
“I Cry out to God, seeking only His decision,” – My Own Prison.
“Are you ready? Are you ready? For what’s to come?” – Are You Ready
“We all live under the reign – did you know of one King.”– What’s this Life For?
Yeah, I thought so
I’m somehow reminded of that episode of South Park where Cartman decides to make a Christian rock band, and cleverly manipulates the lyrics of other songs by just replacing words like “baby” and “darling” with “Jesus.” He becomes so popular that he sells a myrrh album (the Christian Rock equivalent of Platinum). As I recall, his rationale for forming a Christian Rock band was also “Why not? It worked for Creed!”
If South Park makes fun of it, it is worthy of ridicule – nuff’ said.
Furthermore, let’s look at some other bands of the genre, namely Stryper. Stryper was notorious for throwing Bibles into the crowd to get the audience pumped for their shows.
Personally, I think the whole thing about biting the head off a bat was a little over the top, but I know it would’ve gotten my attention more than a copy of the new testament being slapped in my face.
You’ll also be shocked to learn that Stryper had the same, lyrical cheesiness as their brothers in spirit, Creed.
Back to Creed, though, there are a handful of songs which are either just so good that I can overlook the cheesiness, or they had a stroke of brilliance and didn’t write any to begin with. “Higher,” “One Last Breath,” “My Sacrifice,” and “My Own Prison” are absolutely spectacular songs – “One Last Breath” is one of my all-time favorite songs, period. It sends chills down my spine every time I hear it.
So the moral of this story, if Christian rock is what floats your boat, go for it – but as for me, I’m going to leave rock and roll to Nirvana, Ozzy Osbourne, and Ronnie James Dio. But if Creed gets back together, I’d still go see them…as long as they don’t throw bibles.
